Upcoming Previously on LOST

I say this a lot to people who know me, and will likely say it again in these virtual pages if i actually manage to keep writing this thing:

I rarely, if ever, remember my dreams. We’re talking maybe twice a year. I don’t know why this is, but it’s been true for me since the end of high school (before which i remembered my dreams pretty much every night). I know that i dream, as everyone does, because i do occasionally awake with the sense of having dreamt. I just don’t ever wake remembering what i’ve dreamt. I’ve tried to change that, but to no avail. I’ve done all the exercises ever recommended to me, from the “I will remember my dreams” mantra while falling asleep, to trying to force myself to count my fingers during my dreams so i can get all lucid and shit, and all the rest. Nothing works.

Thus, when i do remember my dreams, i’m often struck by a feeling akin to having just read an extremely unusual and memorable book. Because on the face of it, the memorable books i read are going to significantly outnumber the dreams i remember by the time i stop reading and dreaming. Thus, i’m compelled to share that it was kind of odd and interesting that from last night, i remember not one but two dreams about LOST.

I’ve been a fan of LOST since i rented disc one of season one at the video store midway through season two, with a vague sense of “Haven’t i heard that this is supposed to be pretty good?” (I don’t have any sort of broadcast, cable, or satellite TV coming into my house, though i have TV in the sense that i have a large device on which video images can be seen. However, that’s probably one digression too many.) I would have easily said that i loved the show through the first three seasons, with a particularly passionate attachment to the season three finale (“Through the Looking Glass”), except for that really freaking annoying bit where they somehow forgot that Charlie can’t swim. However, since then, the “Charlie can’t swim” moments have been coming fast and furiously, and my hope for a stunning finish to the series is getting seriously dampened.

What the hell was i talking about? Oh, yeah. From last night, i remember not one but two dreams about LOST.

In the first dream, i was watching what seemed to be the series finale. Which is to say, i dreamed the series finale; i wasn’t dreaming that i was watching TV. The big long-awaited reveal was that the island was actually a lost Disney theme park that had developed some sort of sentient consciousness. I remember Jack and Kate standing in this ruined South American-looking temple complex (perhaps the temple that Ben sent everyone to), whose central courtyard featured immense Easter Island-scale stone busts of Mickey Mouse and various other Disney characters. These statues were talking to Jack and explaining everything, and i remember thinking (in the dream) that this was all a horrible cross-marketing exercise by Disney-owned ABC.

Here’s the weird part, though. (Or the weirder part, i guess, because the above is pretty weird.) In the dream, i remember thinking at some point “This is the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen in my life.” And so in response, i dreamed another dream in which i was watching this season’s premiere, along with some sort of making-of documentary. I remember Evangeline Lily being interviewed on what it was like working in the jungle on an extended location shoot, which i guess was meant to lock down the authenticity of the concept, i don’t know.

Here’s what my subconscious precognitive sense told me the next season will be about. (Spoiler alert! In the event that i’m actually psychic.) There was a huge semiunderground temple complex (again, presumably the temple Ben sent the Others to) that looked an awful lot like the rebel base at the end of Star Wars. The castaways and the Others were all there, living in relative harmony but hiding out from yet another group that had infiltrated the island and were now trying to kill them all. (This was the group who the mysterious black guy and Naomi were working for.)

In the backstory, it was revealed that the Others were the semi-immortal descendants of the slaver crew of the Black Rock, to whom the island gave unnaturally long life. They had lived a kind of Robinson Crusoe existence on the island until the Dharma people showed up, whereupon they quickly copped the Dharmas’ modern culture before killing them.

It was then revealed that it was the new people who had actually first discovered the Island (even before the Dharma people), but their initial exploration crew all went mad and started killing each other. There was a flashback scene in which a crazy pilot starts throwing passengers out of a plane. In the forestory, the new bad guys had lots of planes. There was a constant motif of the island being buzzed by low-flying planes as the characters went about doing whatever they were doing and trying desperately not to be seen.

This season had better be at least that interesting.